Nobody's Immune
by Angela On My Shoulder
Summary: Ziva has been back at NCIS for a while and it seems like the past is all but forgotten. But little does everyone know about the feelings inside her. Songfic to Immune by Melanie C


_Summary: Ziva has been back at NCIS for a while and it seems like the past is all but forgotten. But little does everyone know about the feelings inside her. Songfic to Immune by Melanie C_

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**Ziva had been back and NCIS for five months and life was returning to normal. She had gotten a new apartment and her payout from the insurance company allowed her to buy new furniture and a new wardrobe. She could finally feel that things were going back to how they were; she and Tony had seemed to patch over the problems that they had. However, Ziva would sometimes have a bad day when the demons from her recent past would resurface and threaten to take over.**

_If you see me, and I look away_  
_Please don't ask me  
There's nothing to say about the way that I feel  
It's hard to conceal when it's in my eyes_

**On such days, Ziva would still come to work; she did not want anyone to know that there was something wrong with her. There were moments throughout the day where she felt weak and would avoid contact with her team at all costs. She would spend an excessive amount of time in the bathroom; take long walks around the Navy Yard while pretending to get coffee. She would go on hour-long trips down to the basement level to spend time with her friend Abby, or her confidante Ducky. Anything she could do to prevent Tony from seeing her.**

_If I tell you that I'm doing fine  
Please believe me  
It may be a lie but I've got to move on  
__I've got to be strong  
Now what else can I do?  
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**After successfully hiding her emotions for months, she was caught unaware by Tony when she was walking past the coffee shop. She didn't notice him until he approached her. Ziva tried to keep walking but Tony managed to sit her down at a table. He told her that he's noticed how every few weeks there's a day that she's hardly around, and how he's worried about her. Ziva just sat there and absorbed Tony's words; after a minute of silence she got up and walked away, saying that she was fine as she left.**

_Cause I've been  
Wanting, waiting, hoping, praying  
Oh I feel like I'm suffocating__  
There's nothing left to lose_

**As she sat in her apartment that night, Ziva could not eat. She could only think about Tony. She wondered why she didn't just tell him what was going on. Ziva knew that if it was out in the open, she may finally be able to get back to normality. If Tony knew, he'd be able to help her through it. Ziva got up off the couch and placed her glass of wine on the coffee table. She walked over to her phone and dialled Tony's number. When he answered she asked him to come over and hung up without giving him a chance to answer.**

_If all that I have is the sweetest denial  
If all I can give is the rest of my life  
Then I'm over pretending  
That I can survive without you  
__Thought I was stronger than love  
But I guess that nobody's immune_

**Ziva drummed anxiously on her knees as she waited for Tony to arrive. She didn't even know whether he would come or not, after all, she had not offered him any explanation. She was about to go to bed when there was a knock at her door. Ziva walked over and opened it to see a smiling Tony. He apologised for being late and blamed it on not being able to find her new apartment. After Ziva didn't smile or give any expression, he asked her what was wrong. Ziva led Tony to the couch and sat him down. He noticed the glass of wine and the half-empty bottle on the table and asked if she had been drinking. Ziva responded by saying that she had, but was not drunk. Tony accepted this answer and Ziva began to talk.**

_There's a poison  
That runs through my veins when I'm sleeping  
And just like a secret  
__That I try to keep__  
I buried too deep  
Like the memories of you_

**Ziva woke up with a start in the middle of the night, terrified. She propped herself up in bed with her arms and was panting with fear when she felt Tony touch her arm. They had not slept together, but she had asked him to stay the night for her own sake. She hadn't told him, but this was the exact reason she had asked him to stay. Tony asked her if she had a nightmare, Ziva nodded and he asked her whether they happen regularly. She told him that she has them every other night, but every so often she would wake up in a cold sweat. She didn't tell him the details of the dream, just that she was back in Somalia and he was unable to rescue her. Tony reassured her, telling her that she was safe and he was there and for her to go back to sleep. He walked out of Ziva's room and resumed his position on the couch.**

_But I'm still here__  
Wanting, waiting, hoping, praying_  
_Oh I feel like I'm suffocating  
There's nothing left to lose_

**Ziva didn't get back to sleep after Tony left her bedroom. She was tempted into calling him back in there and asking him to lay next to her, not do anything other than be by her side; but she knew that would be inappropriate. There was just so much more that she needed to tell him. Ziva didn't know what was hurting more, the burden of her emotions, or that she didn't have the courage to tell Tony.**

_If all that I have is the sweetest denial  
__If all I can give is the rest of my life__  
Then I'm over pretending  
That I can't survive without you  
Thought I was stronger than love__  
But I guess that nobody's immune_

**Tony lay on the couch, staring up at Ziva's ceiling. He knew that she wasn't asleep; he couldn't hear her deafening snoring. He wanted to go in there; he wanted to hold her; he wanted her to know that she was safe now and that he would protect her. He also knew that she was vulnerable and didn't know whether she'd be welcoming of him or not. His eyes stung with tears and Tony Gibbs-slapped himself. He'd never cried like this over a girl before, but this was Ziva. She was in pain like he's never seen before, and he was feeling it just as much.

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Ooh. Shiny button.  
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